"Grace in the Gritty: Responding to the Duggar Debacle"

          This is our "Love Board." I wish it were my idea but honestly, I saw it at some friends' apartment and couldn't help but make one for our fridge.
          It started with an occasional note from me; a silly or sweet response from my bride. Then our 3-year old daughter got involved and wanted to express her adoration of mommy. When I was sick with the flu, our kids wrote some endearing messages to boost my spirits (before I was forcibly removed to the quarantine zone, of course). But one morning, I woke up and sat down at the kitchen table only to be captivated by this message in the picture that had been left by our "adopted" son.
          Honestly, he's never known anyone as his father and his own personal mistakes began to lead him down a terrible road that created a rift in his life and family. Today, that young man is making real strides to follow Jesus, work hard, and right old wrongs. We are incredibly proud of him and we are thrilled that he is part of our family - even if it does make our family photo look like the Tuohy family Christmas card from The Blind Side movie.

          Our son has been forgiven. He is growing into a tremendous young man despite failures and hiccups along the way. And he still isn't perfect...but neither am I. The man typing these words hasn't always been a pastor (since apparently pastor corresponds with "perfect life" in many Christian circles). My past and present too are littered with mistakes. And I am going to safely assume that yours is as well. If I've learned anything in all my theological training - let alone personal experience and everyday observations - it is that we are all flawed human beings. Nevertheless, there are some mistakes that stick out - some are placed on a pedestal, dowsed in the lime-light and exposed to public shame and humiliation. Such is certainly the case in recent days for Josh Duggar, eldest son of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar, stars of the smash, reality hit "19 Kids and Counting." 

          

          In the last couple of days, this larger-than-life family that has become synonymous with homeschooling, modesty, and conservative, Christian values has come under incredible attack from... well, just about everyone. Although details continue to surface, in Josh's early teens, he inappropriately touched four of his younger sisters and another girl. For the sake of clarity and in an effort to be as unbiased as possible, he was accused of fondling these girls' breasts and genitalia while they were apparently sleeping. A police report from the incident revealed that he admitted to his father, Jim-Bob his transgressions after one of those girls revealed what had been going on. Despite the report, charges were never brought forward but Josh was sent to work for a family friend and undergo counseling.

          Admittedly, more of this story will reach you after these words are typed and this is sure to stay in the media for the foreseeable future but it appears that Josh and the family, with a united front, attest that Josh has long since changed for the better. Restitutions were made. Relationships were mended. But these heinous actions during his formative teenage years and the handling of the situation by the family now may be the show's undoing. And liberal activists, especially those from the LBGTQ community are cheering at the Duggar demise. Consider the following tweet acquired by USAToday:

         

          Hypocrites. Molestor. Family touch time. These are the types of things you're bound to hear about Josh and his family in the days and weeks to come. And do their detractors have a point? Did Josh not commit a grievous sin against not one but five young girls? Shouldn't he face judgment for his crimes? As a fan of the show and a follower of Jesus, I declare without hesitation or reservation, "Absolutely!" Why? Because I serve a just and holy God who can have no part with sin or sinners. I think the Duggar family agrees wholeheartedly with that sentiment.

          Question their motives? Sure. Even demand more information if you have to assuage your own sense of justice. Request clarifications on their handling of this incredibly sensitive situation? Of course! Although we may find that it was the best road to take when all the cards are out on the table. But let's not convict this family of sins for which they are not guilty. Conservatives and liberals alike could stand a lot more consistency!

          The same left-wingers who would abolish the death penalty because of a greater desire to see inmates rehabilitated would crucify Josh Duggar and deny him the same transformation they insist is possible during a life-sentence in a federal penitentiary. After over a decade on television and having been followed by some of the same film crew and producers for a majority of that time, the family is loved by seemingly all who engage with them. But liberals cry out, "Finally, someone found the skeleton in the closet we all knew was there and hoped would be discovered to shut this family up!

          I don't know how this all plays out in the end. TLC, the show's network, is following normal protocol and political posturing: distance. Statements have been released. Tension is building. Tempers are beginning to flare. Emotional scars are being reopened (just consider the girls involved). The lines are being drawn and associations are being tested. But all of that will fade with time. What will last? How will God get the glory from this situation?
          Grace is easy when the sins a person has committed are perceived as "lesser." It's supposed to be unmerited favor, right? But the truth is, when a person has done more to merit our favor...well, you get it. The problem is that such a mindset is borne from a human perspective rather than a divine one. We are all wretched, hopeless sinners in the eyes of a pure and righteous God. Our sins, diverse and many, have violated the commands He has issued and broken our relationship with our Lord and Creator. Nevertheless, Jesus...It's all about Jesus! He paid the penalty for my sins. He served the sentence Josh Duggar and Jon Morton and countless other murderers, rapists and white-collar criminals deserved. I don't know about you but I need a bigger closet for my skeletons too and yet Christ loves me anyway. Even when we mess up, He is the Father I needed and didn't have. He's the Judge who stepped in, spared our lives, and bore our cross. It is certainly gritty grace to say the very least but no matter who you are or have been, Jesus is calling, "Come and follow me!"

             You know, my hope is that one wholesome television show is preserved through this turmoil and that the value of the Duggar family is acknowledged. The circumstances surrounding this "scandal" are messy. That's probably because families are messy. That's probably because people are messy. But make no mistake, there has been no double standard - no hypocrisy to report. Sin is sin and it breaks the heart of God whether it is committed at the hands of a homosexual acting contrary to biblical standards or a teenager who identified himself as a Christian but violated his own sisters' purity. But Jesus died to set us free from the penalty and bondage of sin.
          Josh Duggar, I bet you'll never read this but my prayer is that you truly have found freedom in Christ as I have. Keep following Him and trusting in His sovereign hand through the storms of this life. For the rest of you, I'm gonna keep calm and realize that "haters gonna hate." Jesus said that this world despised Him so we shouldn't be surprised by the persecution we too will have to endure. Don't let that cause you to waver - be uncompromising. Hate sin and love people to the arms of Jesus. Lost people act lost and God-haters will stalk you to parade your shortcomings before others  so don't give the Enemy any ammunition. And when you do stumble - because you will - seek forgiveness, make things right as you are able to do so, and live for the glory of the only One who really matters anyway.
          Should the sins of one young man follow him for the rest of his life? Maybe that's the question Jim-Bob and Michelle pondered and prayed about twelve years ago. But at least consider your skeletons before you answer. As for me, I will extend grace in the gritty and seek to forgive even when it's hard because that's the model of my Savior. We are still proud of our son despite his errors along life's journey and we believe God will continue to use him in powerful ways. Together, we will stand as a family, share the hope that we have through Jesus, and live as new creations, created for good works - like generosity, integrity, mercy and love.
          And Josh, one more thing, I am glad that because of grace your life was transformed by the Gospel and you ran to Jesus. Keep running, my friend. Finish the race. Keep the faith. Were it not for God's grace when we were still in the grime, there's no telling where we may have ended up. I'm not the man yet that I hope to be but thank the Lord, I'm not the boy I used to be. Amen?

Because it's ALL about Jesus...